Watch What You Post, Text & Tweet!

Recently, I watched a dynamic video about the power of words. A blind man has a sign stating: “I’m blind. Please Help.” Many people pass by, but few help.  Finally, a young woman sees the sign and changes the words to read: “It’s a beautiful day and I can’t see it,” and goes on her way. At which point, the blind man is now overcome with the generosity of those dropping him spare change. 

Mediation is all about the power of words to help. At the table, I am challenged with how to rephrase a couple’s words so that their needs are heard and are not stifled by anger, bitterness, or a stubborn goal. In one situation, I had a couple struggling to create a workable visitation schedule. Mom thought Dad should have less time because Dad did not know how to care for their children. On the other hand, Dad said he wanted more visitation time, but in private stated he was struggling to make the divorce transition with his new job demands. Rather than allow Mom to say why she believed Dad should have less time, which would result in Dad being hurt and defensive and then demand more time he was not ready for, I worked with the couple separately to reach both of their goals and a resolution that was right for their family.  We agreed the schedule could then be reviewed in a short amount of time, at which point, both may feel differently and even be better equipped to use their words wisely.